Mister Claims
276 Desborough Road
High Wycombe HP11 2QR

And so we continue our work.

I would like to apologise to Mister Claims for assigning him the unenviable post-Herr Kutz slot. It's a tough billing for anyone. Even Mr Big Stuff might have felt overwhelmed.

I’m not sure what’s happened to the ‘i’ of ‘Mister’ on Mister Claims’s signage.

I like to think of Mister Claims as being a place where you can walk in and pay to be addressed by a man making loud and increasingly spurious claims. “I was the fourth man on the moon. No one ever talks about that!”; “In real terms, France is smaller than the Isle of Wight!”; “Sting is a great singer and a nice man!”

In reality, Mister Claims specialises in personal injury compensation. It’s interesting to note the typical compensation amounts quoted on his website for various injuries.

A nose injury (simple, undisplaced, with full recovery) could get you up to £3,000.

A jaw injury (simple fracture, some immobilisation, full recovery) merits up to £8,500.

Arms get you into more serious money. A forearm fracture with some deformity will attract anything up to £35,000. Loss of both arms gets you to £1 million. (Loss of both hands is also £1 million, so there doesn’t seem to be any extra for the loss of the arms as well.)

At the lowest end of the scale, a minor toe injury merits £1,000, which still seems generous.

Mister Claims doesn’t quote a specific amount for distress caused by appearing in a blog post directly after Herr Kutz. As a precaution, I’d like to make clear that the apology in the second sentence of this post should be taken as a general expression of regret, rather than implying personal blame.

Anyway, that brings Best Ever Blog Post Week to an end. Thank you to everyone who has visited and kept Mr Tweets company on Twitter. And thank you, of course, to Herr Kutz.